xakara | Thursday Thirteen 9th Edition

Hello Kittens,

Welcome to my 9th Thursday Thirteen. I'm deviating from my popular cultural references of books, music, movies, and television to focus on something that seems to be the topic everywhere I turn, Happiness. I try to take my whispered messages from the Universe the first time around so that I don't eventually need to be shouted at. Never fun when lessons come through the cosmic smackdown method. So I've taken the hint and focused on Happiness for this TT. My hope is that it will make me reevaluate my own methods of keeping my Zen-groove and perhaps inspire some lovely bloghopper to begin cultivating their own slice of peace, contentment, zen-groove and Happiness.

Onward, Kittens. And look, not a single link to be had. I can refrain from time to time. *wink*

13 Ways To Cultivate and Nurture Your Happiness

1) Dance like no one is watching ~ Toddlers are some of the happiest people out there because they stop and dance at the drop of a hat and the jingle of a commercial. The movement gets oxygen to the brain and releases endorphins that make you feel good, so dance, even if you have to do it from a chair or bed.

2) Smile for no reason ~ The very act of smiling alters mood and lifts the spirits. The key is to increase the smile as you go along until it reaches your eyes and moves through your body.

3) Hug a child in your life. Barring that opportunity, hug the most open person in your life ~ Hugs, when done right, can turn around your entire day. The hugs of a child when given and received in pure affection, can spread contagious happiness for a good six hours. It's scientifically proven and everything. This means that wrestling your teenager to the ground for a hug might not be as effective. However, as a teenager, they could use it, so do it anyway. :)

4) Sing where no one can hear you ~ Like dancing, belting out a good song increases oxygen consumption and serotonin levels. The music itself has a positive effect on mood even if you sing off-key which is why number five is:

5) Listen to music at least once a day ~ If you drive, this can be combined with 4 and you can sing in the car. Speaking of combining, since you're already driving you can sing in the car on your way to:

6) Find someplace where you can just be you for a while ~ This doesn't have to be a place away from home, your bedroom or balcony or backyard will due. But if you don't have a sanctuary at home, then find that one place where you can go without any obligations and no one wanting anything from you for at least twenty minutes, but preferably an hour. The time to be reflective and the chance to exist without conforming to the views of others is essential on even realizing what things make you truly happy.

7) Cultivate a friendship with at least one person to whom you can say anything ~ Ideally if you're in an intimate relationship you're already cultivating this aspect of friendship. But on the off-chance you hooked up with someone who you love but who just doesn't get you, find someone that does. It doesn't matter if they understand all your subtle nuances, as long as you can say whatever crazy thing comes to mind and they know enough to nod and smile if not throw in with whatever flavor insanity you have for the day.

8) Do something you love ~ It doesn't matter if you make it your life's work or just your life's hobby, do something you love as often as physically possible. It leaves you fulfilled and able to look at the other aspects of life that you don't particularly love in a way that makes them seem less daunting.

9) Do something you don't think you can ~ Find a challenge to overcome and keep the truth of the triumph or the sincere trial with you for any challenge you come across from then on. Too often we think being happy means having no challenges, but we find worth in the trying and the triumph, not in the lack of challenge.

10) Realize life is easier than you think it is ~ At least half the challenges in your life are of your own choosing. The obligations and circumstances you feel weigh you down, can be walked away from or embraced, and each day you choose to do one or the other. Once you acknowledge that the choice does actually exist in a given circumstance, the weight of being powerless lifts from you and there is freedom in moving through life with the concept of choice. Once you know you have a choice it all comes down to choosing wisely.

11) Accept that life isn't fair ~ Life is good, especially in terms of the alternative. But life is not fair. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, cuz technically, it will eventually be unfair to your advantage, which is perhaps the only fairness that can be counted on. Always remain ready for opportunity and you will find more in your favor than against you. But in the meantime, don't fight the fact that some things are the way they are because in the time you waste fighting, you could have found an alternate route around it all.

12) Embrace your differences ~ Whether one of the Freak Legion(that'd be me) or part of the Mundane Horde(don't think I personally know any of those), somethng sets you apart from everyone else you know. Some of you are a little more mundane than the rest of the freaks or a little more freaky than the rest of the mundanes, but you are what you are and everyone else you are comparing yourself to is different than what you think. So don't try to live up to the illusion, embrace the current reality and strive for whichever reality you eventually want to achieve for your life.

13) Surrender ~ This covers so many things, so for the purposes of limited space I'll direct this one at pain. We're all holding on to a boatload of things that in and of themselves likely boil down to a handful of issues. No matter what those individual issues are between us, I can guarantee that among the things we're all holding on to are things we cannot change.

We cannot undo the past, we cannot change the people around us, and we cannot be what others want us to be when what they want is contrary to our own intergrity. Yet we carry around the wishing and regretting in this 18-piece-luggage-set of excess baggage. Surrender the baggage. Limit yourself to a small duffle and two carry-on bags and be done with the rest. Then turn to the duffle and carry-ons and sort out what you really need until you're carrying less and less.

Life is the only thing you're guaranteed to be in until you die, so with such a long walk in front of you do you really want to carry more than you need? Worse, do you want to pass those heavy loads on to the people you love in your life? Set them down, let them go, and surrender to the fact that pain happens but that time moves on and it's only when we refuse to move with it that we stay stuck in the pain that keeps us from happiness.

(The above statements are not meant to treat, diagnose, or cure. They are made from a place of personal observation, a few medical studies, a couple Oprah episodes, and the truth as I've lived it and continue to live it. Take what you will, add what you must, and most importantly, grow and become the you that you're meant to be)

Links to other Thursday Thirteens! (Please sign your comments and leave your links so that others can find you in case I don't get the chance to add you below)

1.Darla, 2.Mom not Mum, 3.Gabriella Hewitt, 4.Moondancer, 5.Tempest Night, 6.Anna, 7.Carrie Lofty, 8.Marcia, 9.Charlene Teglia, 10.Susan Helen Gottfried, 11. Cecily, 12.Paige, 13.Frigga, 14.L-Squared, 15.Buck Naked Politics, 16.Yuriko, 17.Kelly McCrady, 18.Samulli, 19.Joely Sue, 20.MissMelysse, 21.Cocoa, 22.Samantha K, 23.Lara, 24.Ravyn, 25.Robin, 26.Vixen, 27.Nicolas, 28.Xine, 29.

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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From: (Anonymous)

Love this list, Xakara! I'm a big fan of dancing round your house whenever the mood takes me. Don't know what the neighbours think, and, honestly, I don't really care;-)
Happy(!) TT

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Writing From the Middle: Tales From the Bi Side

Thursday Thirteen 9th Edition

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