xakara: (AWTADH)
Greetings, Kittens!

I didn't make it here this week, but I did get things done. I found another writing deadline that's more realistic and that has me genuinely excited, so happy about that. Things are rolling along in my group writing blog, always great. Two awesome fans got in touch with me and made my day each time, can't beat that. And I've laughed more this week than I likely have in the last six months--WIN! Let's break it down, shall we?

Writing: I wrote words. Words were written. There are words. Yeah, so there's that.

Social: I've got some guest blogs coming your way that are awesome. Girls and boys and variations thereof, can you say, Multicultural Steampunk? I knew you could. You're going to enjoy that feature. I also have some ideas in place to build me up to blogging here three to five days a week down the line. Yay!

General Health: Two days of severe, "am I going to faint" fatigue in the middle of the week, but feeling fantastic today and yesterday. Digestion seems to be on point, minor food sensitivity but all in stride. Mental clarity was up, I'll need to work out a few things there. Pain level was tolerable if higher than hoped.

Mental Health: Maybe the workout endorphin highs have been lasting extra long, but I've felt fabulous five of the last seven days, and even those other two days were really good.

Fitness: I made June's cycling goals two weeks early and beat the time I was aiming for by two minutes! Hands Up!

WIPs: Gender Variant F/M-V/M-V Sci-Fi Romance, Demon-Bound Bisexual M/M/F or M/M/M/F or M/M/F/F (or something else) Horror Romance, Sequel to A Way To A Dragon's Heart, Sequel to Its Sweetest Form, Revision of BloodSprite. PsiCorps Chronicles Book 3.

Lots to do and feeling good enough to work my way through them, slowly but surely. So that's this week, bring on next week!

Wrap-up Ramble Done, Kittens!

~X
xakara: (AWTADH)
Kuaui
hawaii_waterfall
Akaka Falls State Park

Wordless Wednesday Blog
xakara: (AWTADH)
Greetings Kittens!

The dust is thick, but everything still seems in place, imagine that. It's been just under a year since I last blogged, nearly that long since I last wrote. It's been a trial and a tribulation, but I'm here...I'm here.

I'm starting from scratch, getting back into forums and blogs, looking through open submissions, and getting my writing feet wet again. There's a lot I don't remember because of the dyscognition and even more that's changed in just the short time I've been out of the loop. All of that's a good thing. A brand new start is just what's needed. I've spent too much time in the past and the things I can't go back to.

I've always been reluctant to discuss my health concerns here, or anywhere really, primarily because I lacked the language to convey the depth of what I was going through. It was also difficult to see where such a topic fit in what was supposed to be a writing blog. Being too sick to write has put things in perspective. My health is directly related to my creative expression, as are so many things, so all of them belong wherever I speak about my existence.

I have ME/CFIDS (Myalgic Encephalopathy/Chronic Fatigue
Immune Dysfunction Syndrome), fibromyalgia and circadian dysfunction. The symptoms range across insomnia, IBS, vertigo, memory loss, inability to concentrate, chronic headaches, chronic muscle pain, chronic joint pain, and crippling fatigue. I was in remission from November 2005 to 2010, stayed in denial until 2011, and made things worse with a full time job and other stresses that couldn't be avoided in 2012. All of that led to a collapse of everything in 2013 and I've spent much of the last 15 months housebound and the better part of 10 months bedbound.

I'm still symptomatic, but no longer stuck curled up on my side with a ice pack or heating pad. I can walk short distances, stand for a small bit of time, and can even run errands up to twenty or thirty minutes before my back locks up. It doesn't sound like much, but it's everything. The last three weeks have shown significant improvement and I want to follow through with taking back the important things.

As always, I'm ambitious in the task. I found an open call with a July 1st deadline. 35K in 30 days is doable, if over-reaching for just getting back, but hey it's win-win. Either I finish it, editing as I go, and have something submission ready at the end of the month, or I'm 15 to 35K closer to a finished ms than I was when I started. Win-win all the way.

After so long, I know it's likely no one will even see this, but it was important to write it anyway, to get a foot back in the game. I've been on the sidelines too long.

I hope everyone is well. I want to get here three times a week this month and rebuild that habit, but I'm not going to push. I'll do what I can and celebrate how far I get. Seeya soon.

Return Ramble Done, Kittens!

~X
xakara: (AWTADH)
Hot_summer_romance_giveaway_hop_graphic

Greetings, Kittens!

Welcome back to the Hot Summer Romance Giveaway Hop . Today, as an author of bi-poly romance, I’d like to talk about love triads vs. love triangles, and the progression from bromance to romance.

Fiction of every stripe has made use of the love triangle since we sat around camp fires, huddled against the night. The oldest love triangles are often centered around brothers who love the same woman. This is in part because the relationship between brothers has always fascinated us. The rivalry, the intensity, the fierce loyalty and the sacrifice between brothers has been part of an epic tapestry that stretches as far back as Remus and Romulus and even further to Osiris and Set and beyond.

Competition for a mate meets competition for familial attention and recognition when the brother dynamic is wed to the love triangle. The explosive possibilities for betrayal and even lethal retaliation raises the stakes. Higher stakes means a greater interest in the outcome and so we tell the stories over and over again. In modern Western culture, the minutia may change but the story is inevitably the same, with the more heroic brother winning the girl, sacrificing the relationship for his brother, or dying by his brother’s hands. As many ways as this can be spun, it does inevitably require an upgrade. Step in...the best friend triangle.

Close male relationships were once the norm, especially among the educated elite. Time spent with ones intellectual peers was considered beneficial—even necessary—and these relationships were fostered at every turn. Meant to mirror siblingship and even exceed it, close bond friendships still honored their origins. This lead to the widespread formation of brotherhoods among scholars and tradesmen and terms like brothers-in-arms for those who served together in military ranks.

Where brothers-by-birth are meant to compete, chosen brothers inspire a different, deeper loyalty. After all, these men lack the history of a childhood being compared to each other, trying to outdo each other or feeling inadequate in one another’s presence. And if any of these elements are present, well it simply fortifies the connection since in the end these two people chose to remain close. As a result, these are the relationships meant to endure. And they usually do—until a woman arrives to tear it all apart.

Be she divine angel or evil temptress, if you listen to the stories, historically women are the most destructive force to close male relationships. In part, this mirrors the severing of childhood ties for adult marriage, elevating sexual and reproductive relationship above all others. Its vilification represents the resentment to growing up and relinquishing the carefree days of bachelorhood. It is also a visceral response to leaving the company of the knowable masculine for the unknowable feminine. But what do you expect when for so long men wrote the tales and sung the songs? So what happened when women took up the pen?

Well, for the most part they wrote about relationships between women, but when romance finally made its way onto the pages, the love triangle was alive and well. For women, the perfect love triangle existed when both men adored the heroine but held disdain for one another. In this way, the heroine was not culpable in altering heart-held ties. In fact, in early works men rarely had any heart-held ties. Instead there are many gothic, brooding counts, widowers who would never love again and otherwise grumpy, gruff alpha males all waiting for the right woman to come along. Ever so often we get the dueling noblemen, figuratively or literally, competing to make the virginal heroine swoon.

It would take more time than I have here to breakdown exactly what happened with male friendships but sufficient to say in America, the rise of the labor class, military careers, isolated suburbs with long commutes and a general nose to the grindstone mentality changed our definitions of masculinity. Real men worked and provided for their families and didn’t have time to sit down and talk about feelings “like a bunch of women”. Emotional interaction was a luxury men didn’t have and more and more adult male relationships were reduced to alcohol fueled laments on life or sports analogies where no one asked anything deep, least they be viewed as less than men. This is not just a caricature women see about men, but a true loss men have expressed in their relationships and one finally taking a turn again.

We got our first taste of changing male relationships in the 1970s and fiction followed suit, but it was not to last through the cutthroat ‘80s. Romance fiction held on however and filling in the gap with the return of the brother themed love triangle in full force. The 1990’s introduced the “sensitive male” personae and held out emotional security and intimate connection as sexy. As a byproduct, men not only connected with women better than they had all century, they actually began to connect with other men on a genuine level. After the near-cannibalistic everyone-out-for-themselves ‘80’s, the ‘90’s saw the resurrection of the male best friend.

As a result, Hollywood gave us the buddy comedy in abundance, while television and romance novels gave us the best-friend love triangle. Even in print these relationships always played it safe and resolved in one of two ways. Most often they resolved into a heterosexual pairing where love had conquered all and there were no regrets concerning the now discarded male. When that was too predictable, they were momentarily subversive where all parties tried to make it work through loads of angst only to arrive at the inevitable course correction of a tragic ending. The overriding message? That the heroine must choose or fate would chose for her, often with the subtlety of a cross-town bus out of nowhere.

For those of us who hate the love triangle trope things seemed hopeless. Then came the new millennium and the rise of the ménage. Suddenly, on the page at least, the heroine didn’t have to choose. These best friends, and sometimes even brothers, could find a way to share and prosper rather than destroy everything between them by competing. Of course sharing didn’t always mean enduring love. Most ménage fiction as early as three years ago still held with the one-off sexual adventure from which everyone eventually came to their senses.

It’s been a short jump between ménage and polymory and those one-off encounters blossomed on the page into full relationships. They aren’t yet abundant but I believe they will be as male relationships continue to grow closer. Currently, Hollywood has taken notice of evolving connections between men and we see the rise of the man-crush, the man-date and the bromance on screens big and small. Is it any wonder that more love triads have also been published and more and more of those have been MMF where the men love each other as much as the heroine?

I’m not expecting Hollywood to jump on the bi-male bandwagon tomorrow, but the first few sincere offerings can’t be that far behind. For now, I’ll take the acknowledgement of being in love with more than one person and fully wanting relationships with both of them, as a great start. Right now, it appears that paranormal fiction will be our answer on the screen to inspire more authors to put it on the page.

*Spoiler Alert* The triangle in The Vampire Diaries is built upon the premise that both Salvator brothers are loved by Elena, as they were by her predecessor Katherine. This was finally accepted and acknowledged by all sides, and although a choice was made at the close of season, this is still the only network show that may still cross that line down the road. Although I’m not caught up on this season yet HBO’s True Blood is a step close, with Sookie openly admitting to being in love with both Eric and Bill and actively wanting both of them. Both are classic triangles, and even with choices made, neither come with the imperative of the old to, “choose or else”. Without this imperative, the outcome of not only choosing both but actively pursuing it to a positive conclusion becomes natural. The idea is there and ripe for exploration. To date however, only the non-fiction movie Savages directed by Oliver Stone has crossed the divide of two het men in love with the same women and willing to share. It’s a harsh film with its share of violence but at least our lovers all make it out alive.

Once they successfully cross the line into working polyamory on a popular show and mega hit movie, it’s just a short hop, skip and jump from the male intimacy of the het bromance to that of the bi-romance. Happy Hopping!

~X

Remember to comment to win a copy of A Way To A Dragon's Heart or the backlist title of your choice. Please leave an email where I can contact the winner or winners and don't forget to keeping visit over the next few days, there's a grand prize of Kindle Fire and a $50 Amazon gift card through the larger Insatiable Reads hop!

Return to Linkz Page
xakara: (Drow Fairy)
summer-chillin-button-1

Greetings, Kittens!

Welcome to the Summer Chillin' Blog Hop. I hope you find some great recipes and delightful promotions to help carry you through the hot weeks ahead.

For my entry I've chosen a dessert. Yes, it might heat up your kitchen, but trust me, these cookies are more than worth it. To further make amends, I've provided a refreshing beverage to cool you back down.


I encourage making things from scratch, but I know we don’t always have the energy or the budget to keep the ingredients on hand. Box cake mixes are the perfect back up/alternative. I stock up on my favorite mixes any time I see them on sale and often for $1.25 or less, have the perfect base for sheet cakes, cupcakes, cookies and bars. Here’s the newest favorite in my household.


Red velvet chocolate chip cookies
Cake Batter Red Velvet Chocolate Chip Cookies:

1 box red velvet cake mix,
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
1tsp baking powder
3tsp water
6 - 8oz chocolate chips
Powdered Sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Lightly spray a cookie sheet or line with parchment paper and set aside. Combine Red Velvet cake mix (I used Duncan Hines, but any 18oz mix will do) with baking powder, eggs, water and oil until dough forms. Fold in chocolate chips. Form into teaspoon sized balls, roll in powdered sugar and place on tray about an inch apart. You can pat down the tops lightly, but these will spread fine without that if you prefer. Bake for 8 to 12mins depending on your oven, the top of the cookie will crack and it will set around the edges. Sprinkle with more powdered sugar immediately after removing them from the oven. They're crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside and perfectly moist.


Strawberry Lemonade
Blended Strawberry Lemonade:

1 ¼ lb strawberries, washed and halved, about 4 cups
2 lemons, washed and quarted
½ to ¾ cup honey or agave nectar to taste
6 cups of water
Ice

Blend the strawberries, lemons and honey with 2 cups of water. Strain and add the remaining 4 cups of water. Adjust sweetness as necessary. Serve over ice.

Alternately, blend lemons, honey and 2 cups of water. Strain and return to blender, add in frozen strawberries and remaining water for a slushie treat.

Comment for a chance to win my food-centric TherianWorld novel A WAY TO A DRAGON'S HEART, or backlist of your choice.

Ramble Done, Kittens!

~X
xakara: (Default)
Bi_Heart_genderlesslove

Greetings, Kittens!

Thanks to all who participated in the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia! I loved the response to my post on BiVisibility and BiErasure and I appreciate all of you who took the time to comment.

I won a few prizes myself, and in celebration I'm giving away THREE copies of A WAY TO A DRAGON'S HEART. Congrats to Sophia, Lisabet and Layla!

Remember to keep speaking on these issues, every day, every time. It's only when we refuse to be silenced that we begin to see change.

The best of everything, Kittens!

~X
xakara: (AWTADH)
2013 2

Greetings, Kittens!

A few years back, during my well days, I wrote a guest series based on “life in the middle” as a MMF romance author. Continued bi-phobia and bi-erasure has left a void when it comes to sites dedicated to—or just inclusive of—bisexual content. Navigating the stereotypes of bisexuality also means taking great care to clearly show bisexuality on the page as a true identity, without taking from the fact that most bisexuals, like most of the Western world, tend to settle into monogamous coupledom. It’s difficult to do both, the bisexual past is often erased and the relationship is ultimately considered to be gay or straight, depending on the partner the protagonist ends up with in the end. To keep the bisexual experience on the page, as well as celebrate the overlooked and misunderstood road of non-monogamy, I chose to write polyamorous romances. In my work, polyamory is expressed as polyfidelity, a committed relationship of three or more people. Romance readers of course know these books better under the label menage.

Menage, for those of you unfamiliar,  is the ever growing subgenre of romance, and a natural extension of the classic love triangle. You know the one I mean: Hero A has everything she ever wanted, Hero B is everything she thought she could never have, who will she choose?

As a pre-teen, I read those books and always wondered why she had to choose at all. Menage emerged to show that she didn’t, at least not entirely. I’ve come across more than a few in which, once the deed was done, the threesome invariably learn that it’s best for her to be with just one of the men, but it’s less of a choice between them and more a clarification of what she/they really want. I can accept that, it’s just not my gig. I prefer the increasing, dare I say pervasive,
HEA segment of menage that legitimately becomes poly-romance. I want my threesomes, foursomes and moresomes to work it out, stay together and become a family. Is it harder in real life than on paper? Damn skippy! But so are relationships in general and yet romance is the bestselling genre all the same. Readers have extended the fantasy, and I say give them what they want. If it serves to educate on the concept of bisexuality or fluid sexuality, all the better.

When you open my books, they’re all poly, all the time, (and there was much rejoicing). There’s also male-male love in all my work, which is not the menage standard. I don’t mean the gay couple across the street, or the gay brother-in-law and his partner, (although I have nothing against shining a light into their love lives, if they leave their bedroom doors open), I mean two or more male leads that are in love with each other. Men who want to touch, taste and caress one another. Who watch one each other walk by with that hungry, all encompassing need to ravish the object of their affection. Men in awe and appreciation of the attributes of other men, and enthusiastically in awe and appreciation of the attributes of women. Yes, I firmly put the ‘B’ back in LGBTQ with my Bisexual Poly Romance—and most people don’t know what to do with me.

MFM, that lovely combination that’s all about a women getting everything she wants, is easily shelved with the rest of het-romance and promoted like its monogamous brethren. Change the letters to MMF to become about a man getting everything he wants and suddenly there’s a pause. When the time comes to let readers know your work is out there, some sites that cater to erotic romance readers start to get a little jumpy if you want to stand out on the bisexuality or sexual fluidity of your characters. It goes something like this:
I write erotic romance and here is my MMF book, your readers will like it. “Hmm, gay content.” They’re not gay, they’re bisexual. “Still, male-male content, I’m not entirely sure how to package that to our readers, if you want to emphasize it, have you tried the gay romance sites?” The characters aren’t gay. “But it’s male-male content and they know how to work with that.” Fine, that seems reasonable. The majority of MM readers are women and many of them were introduced by various menage stories that obviously worked for them. Some went on to launch male-centered romance/erotica sites and know what they’re looking for, great idea. Here you go, I write erotic romance, here’s my MMF book, your readers will enjoy it. “Hmm, straight content.” The characters aren’t straight, they’re bisexual. “Still, male-female content, I’m not entirely sure how to package that to our readers, have you tried the het-romance sites?”.

*Blink* *Blink*

Before you get the wrong impression, no one is entirely throwing MMF writers to the wolves, there isn’t a mad hate-on for bisexual/fluid content, nor does the industry have a campaign of bi-erasure. It’s more a matter of neglect because of bi-erasure in society and lack of bi-visibility in entertainment media at large. We don’t see bisexuality with the frequency or positive commonality that gay male couples have achieved, so when you get to niche sites, they don’t know what to do with that representation and try to force it into one box or another—the experience of bisexuals in day to day life.

A great story will speak for itself, it just needs someone to listen. With so many books released every day, specialty sites pop up all the time to give readers a place to come and talk about favorite genres and find desired content. To make sure that their readers get exactly what they want, they narrow their focus as much as they can and those of us between boxes are forgotten. There are certainly readers who want everyone in the bed to be completely committed to the enjoyment of everyone else present, but where do they go?

LGBTQ sites offer the full spectrum, but often the implication is that the stories will be about the struggle of being LGBTQ, rather than about people falling in love and learning about each other. Sometimes it moves beyond implication to outright statements by such sites who are “Telling Queer Stories for Queer Audiences”. Well, as much as I embrace and celebrate my queerness, I don’t write queer stories, for queer audiences. I write poly love stories with sexually fluid characters, for anyone who wants to read outside the lines. Where’s my shelf?

In the end, enough writers of MMF, (and FFM, but let’s not even get into the red-headed stepchild treatment of FF content in non-lesbian romance, or of lesbian romance itself because that’s its own series of posts), or enough readers will get together and the necessary sites will emerge. In the meantime, keep lists, start group discussions and track down authors doing what you want and getting it right, then spread the word. It’s only when we see ourselves that we believe we have the right to be ourselves.

We’re out there, sexually fluid and bisexual identified authors showing what that kind of love looks like in our unique voices. Find us. We’ll be here writing and waiting for the time, when being stuck in the middle, becomes conquering from the middle out.

Leave a comment with an email address to win a copy of A WAY TO A DRAGON'S HEART or one of my other titles.

Writing from the Middle Ramble ~ Done
~X

For more links in the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia

Xakara is an openly bisexual, poly author. Her works include ITS SWEETEST FORM (A Therian World Novella) out with Musa Publishing. SHIFTING PASSONS ( A Therian World Novella), out with Samhain Publishing. A WAY TO A DRAGON’S HEART (A Therian World Novel) out with Liquid Silver Books. GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST (PsiCorps Book 1) and DAWN’S EARLY LIGHT (PsiCorps Book 2) also out with Liquid Silver Books.




 
xakara: (Default)
Greetings, Kittens!

It's been a while and I couldn't think of a better way to brush the dust off this blog than by letting you know of a new guest post at Beyond the Veil

Caridad Pineiro's THE VAMPIRE'S CONSORT is coming out on April and I thought it a wonderful idea to bring you a sneak peak. 

The full post is at Beyond the Veil and I encourage you to check it out. In amends for my absence, here's the excerpt. 

Enjoy!


Teaser:

 

Vampire Adrian offered Eliza a choice: die of a fatal illness, or become his consort and attend to his every need. Eliza chose life, but she did not expect to fall in love–and lust–with him.

 

Nothing compares to the erotic excitement of watching Adrian pleasure one of his many willing companions, but she’s tired of waiting for Adrian to see her as more than his consort. She thinks she’s ready to move on with her human lover, John–until Adrian surprises all three of them with a sensual encounter that changes everything.

 

Excerpt:

 

The first time Eliza had realized the moan was one of pleasure and not pain, she should have walked away from the peephole.

 

But she hadn’t.

 

The peephole had been placed in the wall after a so-called Slayer had tried to stake her master. Adrian had subdued the overly eager and decidedly naïve young woman. In time, the Slayer had come to realize that Adrian was not only one of the white hats, but an excellent lay.

 

Despite the truce struck with the Slayer, Adrian had decided that the peephole was necessary for safety’s sake along with the loaded tranquilizer gun in Eliza’s nightstand.

 

Luckily she’d not had a reason to use the gun, but the peephole had been another thing. Peering in it had almost become an obsession.

 

She used it way too often, drawn by the sight of Adrian and his lovers. Unable to yank herself away from her gorgeous master as he pleasured yet another willing woman before taking his sip of their blood as compensation for the wicked satisfaction they found in his arms.

 

Eliza imagined herself in those arms more than she should.

 

It was wrong, she knew. She was here to serve Adrian and keep his home, not to love him. But after nearly two hundred years of being his consort, it was hard to deny that was exactly what had happened.

 

Eliza had fallen in love with Adrian.

 

She loved him and lusted for him, she thought as she peered through the peephole once again and watched him move over the body of his latest companion.

 

The young woman was a lithe strawberry blonde with surgically amplified breasts that barely moved as she lay on the bed with Adrian’s big body snuggled between her long thin legs. Tanned skin which would one day be leathery contrasted sharply with Adrian’s pale alabaster perfection.

 

As Adrian lowered his head to suckle her breasts, Eliza’s nipples tightened in response and her sex grew heavy and damp with need.

 

Bracing one hand on the wall, she tugged at the belt for her robe. The silk fabric fell open and even that subtle movement of smoothness against her body dragged a breathy sigh from her as she imagined it was Adrian’s skin along hers.



xakara: (AWTADH)
Greetings, Kittens!

I was hit with a bit of malware on Monday that I'm still recovering, (I'll get my taskbar back yet). I don't want to dedicate any more time to the downside, just let me spread the gospel of running SuperAntiSpyware and Malwarebytes every month, every two weeks if you have Spotify or anything else that runs 3rd party apps. 

Although it took me two days to recover from it, I don't feel negative about that time. In fact, I think it was a perfect microcosm moment of what to do when things go sideways. A friend that I talked to during it, (and who I talked into running antimalware which turned up a trojan, so seriously check your systems), asked me how I kept my zen, and I outlined what I took from the incident. In case you were all interested in how my mind works, I thought I'd share it here too. Originally it was in ten steps, but I've expanded them to thirteen for your viewing pleasure.

Enjoy.


13 Steps To Getting Through An Incident Without It Ruining Your Whole Day

1st, Don’t Panic. Take a breath and step back before doing anything and see what’s fully going on.

2nd, Act Instead of React. Evaluate and move forward rather than just immediately reacting on the emotion of the moment.

3rd, Remember You’re Not Alone. Any problem you have, someone else has had it and they’ve talked about it on the internet. Go and check for solutions if you can’t handle the problem yourself.

4th, Keep Asking Questions. If the first search doesn’t turn up what you need, keep tweaking the question, type it right into the search engine and continue until you find what you need, or until you find it explained in a way you understand.

5th, Verify. Don’t borrow trouble, compare your advice and verify your sources.

6th, Pace Yourself. Take the solution, whatever it may be, at your own pace and without feeling anything but empowered to turn around the situation.

7th, Be Patient. Pardon my language, but it takes time to unfuck a situation, give yourself that time.

8th, Gain Perspective. Whatever's happened, you're there to complain about it, so it could have been worse. Every time the moment begins to overwhelm you, stop, back away, see the bigger picture and get back in there to fix it.

9th, Multitask. Whatever has knocked your day off-kilter, take the moment it presents. Perhaps you needed time to yourself to be alone with your own thoughts. Nothing hyper focuses you like trying to fix a laptop, (or car, or situation in general). Take the moment not to think about anything else. And when you can do nothing but sit back and let the scan run, (or wait for maintenance, etc), consider it that time you never get to read or watch tv or work out. I mean, why waste it?

10th, Remember, It’s Not Personal, Even When It Feels That Way. It’s an incident, perhaps a couple incidents, but that’s all they are. It’s not an agenda. Even when someone takes something out on you, it’s not really about you, so don’t internalize it as if it were.

11th, Let it Go. Whatever it is, it happened and it’s over, even if it’s not entirely resolved.

12th, When In Doubt, Dance It Out. At the beginning, in the middle, at the end, anywhere during the situation, take a music break and have a time. It will elevate your seratonin and make it all look better.

13th, Call Me. Or, you know, whatever friend you have that listens to that kind of thing. Not only will you feel better to get it said, but you might save them the trouble of flying blind when their own situation comes around.


Other Thursday Thirteeners

xakara: (GoCP)
Greetings, Kittens!

I've been so busy, I wasn't sure I'd get a chance to get in another T13 before the year ended. Luckily, things have calmed  and I can close 2011 with all of you.

Usually, I spend the last week of December and the first week of January adjusting my plan for the new year. I know that January 1st is the traditional day, but it takes me a few days to see how the year is going before I can set up goals. So that'll be next week, while this week I thought I'd review the goals for 2011.

Enjoy.

1. Finish all my writing/submission deadlines on time and with the minimal stress possible. (I have six this year...so far)

This worked for a few of the deadlines and I want to carry this over to 2012 with a few adjustments to technique, so that all of the projects can be on the minimum stress train.

2. Complete two revisions on long term projects.

Done! One was contracted and released, the other is on submission.

3. Finish BloodQueen and The Forgiven.

Not even close. They got bumped for other projects.

4. Start BloodThrone and Rise of the Morning Star.

This actually happened. I was in the mindset, so parts of both of these stories were "put to paper". I can only do so much without finishing the stories that come before.

5. Become a more active participant in reader/writer forums.

Done! And it's only going to get more involved next year.

6. Have fewer writing related obsessions.

Is television considered non-writing related obsession, if the shows inspire the desire to write scripts?

7. Read more to recharge my creative spark.

My reading time was primarily sucked up by research. I did get the recharge I needed, but I wish more of it had been fiction reading. I hope to have that in 2012.

8. Become proficient enough with my Hula Hoop to teach others.

Not even close. I got severely injured more than once, but each time has given me more insight into how to get around injuries. I'm carrying this goal over to 2012 as well.

9. Save up for certification courses.

This started, but the financial situation didn't let it continue. That should be different with new employment on the line.

10. More sex.

Done! :)

11. Complete another large crochet project. (I know that seems a strange thing to put after sex, but the last crochet project ended up being a queen sized afghan that's on our bed, so you get how I arrived here.)

It's not complete. I changed my mind a few times on what I wanted exactly, but I'm happy with the progress on it.

12. More sex. (And you get how I got back here.)

:)

13. Spend more time during the rest of the week getting acquainted with the blogs of my fellow TTers.

A partial success. I've  had the chance to see more blogs and I got to know some of you more, which is wonderful. I didn't create the blog surfing habit that I wanted, but much of that was due to writing, so I'm okay with that. Once I have my writing habit tweaked, I'll go back to building the blog habit as best I can.

Other T13ers

xakara: (Edits HurtSoGood)
Greetings, Kittens!

I'm in the midst of edits and after reading through the manuscript four times Tuesday, things did not go as well on Wednesday. I love the story and I love the tweaks, but I've been up close and personal with it for too long. The wonderful editor suggestions are starting to feel like hurdles to jump rather than the guideposts they're meant to be. I got through the first chapter tonight and it was time to step back. Now I consider what happened next to be a bit of rejuvenation, but I can see how it may look like procrastination to others. Either way, here are the 13 Things I Did Instead of Edits.

Enjoy.


1. Watch Supernatural fanvids on YouTube.

2. Search for music on Spotify.

3. Read the political page of the Huffington Post.

4. Read the Black Voices page of the Huffington Post.

5. Read the Gay Voices page of the Huffington Post.

6. Spent hours on Tumblr...

7. Where I learned how to give Black Barbie natural hair among other things.

8. Spent 90 minutes on the coorelation between misogyny, homophobia and transphobia.

9. Took notes on a cyberpunk idea that won't leave me alone.

10. Played with my hula hoops.

11. Danced to my playlist instead of writing to it.

12. Shopped for custom sex toys for a giveaway. (Because that's how good I am to my readers)

13. Messed with my worpress blog and still posted at LJ instead.
xakara: (Default)
Greetings, Kittens!

Did you miss me while I was hard at work meeting my deadline last week? Well it turns out, I'm racing against another deadline this week, so I will do a short and sweet post of random eye candy for our collective delight.

Enjoy.

Wait, I guess I do have something to do with this one, never mind...
































Other Thursday Thirteeners
xakara: (AWTADH)

Greetings, Kittens!

It's been a while and I thought I'd start back with another look at A WAY TO A DRAGON'S HEART, before moving on to a holiday theme offering next week. You can read the entire 1st chapter HERE   and there will be a chance to when a copy of  A WAY TO A DRAGON'S HEART in two weeks at TRS party.

Be sure to leave your name in you comment so I can be sure to visit!

Enjoy.


Caleb quickly shook his head. “No, it’s never been like that, I’ve encouraged Xander to go for it from early on when they first met. I thought they’d be good for each other, and I felt better knowing Kryssa would take care of him the next time I left.”

He looked over at her, “Even when his brothers were at their most negative and vocal, Kryssa never wavered in her support. She offered to throw me out a window the first time Xander and I were off-again after they became friends, but the goal was to clear the way so we could go straight to make-up/comfort sex after I healed.”

Caleb laughed and nodded, “I know she’s been on my side from the beginning, and with his Fae blood and my Therian and Vampire instincts, I knew we’d go back to being polyamorous eventually; we always do. I’ve even spent more time than I should admit to wondering about it being Kryssa."


Other Six Sentence Sunday Participants

xakara: (cornucopia)
Greetings, Kittens!

Happy Thanksgiving to all who are celebrating today! Whether you're eating turkey or protecting them, today is as much their day as anyone elses. I thought since I shared my wishes and gratitude last week, I'd give this week to the most committed partner in the Thanksgiving celebration--the turkey. In this case, the Wild Turkey.

Enjoy.

1. Wild turkeys are native to North America and there are five subspecies: Eastern, Osceola (Florida), Rio Grande, Merriam's and Gould's.

2. All five range throughout different parts of the continent. The eastern is the most common and ranges the entire eastern half of the United States.

3. Between 5,000 and 6,000 feathers cover the body of an adult turkey in patterns called feather tracts.

4. Most of the feathers exhibit a metallic glittering, called iridescence, with varying colors of red, green, copper, bronze and gold. The gobbler, or male turkey, is more colorful, while the hen is a drab brownish or lighter color to camouflage her with her surroundings.

5. Two major characteristics distinguish males from females: spurs and beards. Both sexes have long, powerful legs covered with scales and are born with a small button spur on the back of the leg. Soon after birth, a male's spur starts growing pointed and curved and can grow to about two inches. Most hen's spurs do not grow. Gobblers also have beards, which are tufts of filaments, or modified feathers, growing out from the chest. Beards can grow to an average of 9 inches (though they can grow much longer).

6. It must also be noted that 10 to 20 percent of hens have beards.

7. Wild turkeys have excellent vision during the day but don't see as well at night. 

8. Turkeys can run at speeds up to 25 mph, and they can fly up to 55 mph.

9. When mating season arrives, anywhere from February to April, courtship usually begins while turkeys are still flocked together in wintering areas.

10. After mating, the hens begin searching for a nest site and laying eggs. In most areas, nests can be found in a shallow dirt depression, surrounded by moderately woody vegetation that conceals the nest.

11. Hens lay a clutch of 10 to 12 eggs during a two-week period, usually laying one egg per day. She will incubate her eggs for about 28 days, occasionally turning and rearranging them until they are ready to hatch.

12. A newly-hatched flock must be ready to leave the nest within 12 to 24 hours to feed. Poults eat insects, berries and seeds, while adults will eat anything from acorns and berries to insects and small reptiles. Turkeys usually feed in early morning and in the afternoon.

13. Wild turkeys like open areas for feeding, mating and habitat. They use forested areas as cover from predators and for roosting in trees at night.

Bonus Fact: The Wild Turkey population has gone from only 30,000 in the early 1900s to more than 7 million today.

xakara: (AWTADH)

Greetings, Kittens!

So far, so good for the day. I think the connection is going to hold, so I'm back in the communication loop. I apologize for the sudden drops mid-conversation, as I tried to get as much done over the weekend as possible. I hope we all caught up and if I am behind on anything that I've forgotten, just drop me a message and we'll catch up!

Have a great Tuesday! :)

~X

xakara: (Weeping Statue)
Greetings, Kittens!

With so many health issues on my end, I didn't want to disappear without an explanation. Our internet connection went spotty on Friday and may go down completely for a couple days to fix the line issue. I'll catch up on Tuesday or Wednesday for any missed emails, status updates, tweets, scheduled chats and guest blogs.

Auto-tweets will be going out over the course of the night, and any time the connection last long enough to approve them, but until there's a general "I'm back" kind of post, they're only automated and I can't be reached online.

Have a great weekend, I'll see you when I can see you, Kittens!

~X
xakara: (Ying Yang Blue-Red)
Greetings, Kittens!

Today I was feeling rather...zen and hopeful I guess. I know that others may be feeling rather less so, and I remembered a post that I shared years back. To bring a bit of that peace and hope to all of you, I wanted to share those good wishes again. So here you are, Kittens,13 Wishes For All!

Enjoy.


13 Wishes

1. May you be truly loved, for it is said to give us strength.

2. May you truly love another, because it is said to give us courage.

3. May you know your worth, for you are a priceless being.

4. May you value those around you, for they are irreplaceable.

5. May you live your dreams, because they are unlike any other.

6. May you learn your purpose, because without you the world is diminished.

7. May you crave your own company, for in that stillness is wisdom.

8. May you seek out others, for in shared experiences are the seeds on enlightenment.

9. May you briefly be lost, because in wandering we often find ourselves.

10. May you have everything you need, and want everything you have.

11. May you connect with something greater than yourself ,and know that you are never alone.

12. May you know peace and pass that peace onto others.

13. May you forgive and in turn be forgiven.

Namaste




xakara: (AWTADH)
Greetings, Kittens!

I've often mentioned how much I love quotes for T13, but I can't remember the last time I posted any. I chose some great words on success and failure, as a nod to Veterans Day and Remembrance Day on 11/11/11, to honor the brave men and women who gave their all defending both countries, and the ideas of freedom and perseverance as a whole. I give you 13 Quotes on Seeing It Through!

Enjoy.


1. Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently. ~ Henry Ford

2. I have not failed. I’ve just found ten thousand ways that won’t work. ~ Thomas Edison

3. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ~ Thomas Edison

4. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. ~Albert Einstein

5. It’s not how many times you fall down, it’s how many times you get back up. ~ Unknown

6. Eighty percent of success is showing up. ~ Woody Allen

7. Reach for the moon; even if you miss, you will land among the stars. ~ Unknown

8. Some people skate to the puck. I skate to where the puck is going to be. ~ Wayne Gretzky

9. When you are falling from a mountain, you may as well attempt to fly. ~ Babylon 5

10. The Obstacle is the Path. ~ Zen Proverb

11. Success is not the destination, it’s the journey. ~ Unknown

12. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. ~ Albert Einstein

13. If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way you were told. ~ Unknown

And in honor of all the unknown quotes, and to prove politicians weren’t always like they are now: It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. ~ Harry S. Truman

Other Thursday Thirteeners



xakara: (AWTADH)

Greetings, Kittens!

I thought we could use a bit of a pick-me-up around the web. Although only the first stanza fits, even a single stanza of Miss Maya can do a great deal to put us all in the right frame of mind. Here's the beginning of Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou.

Enjoy.


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.



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