xakara

Pardon my hypocrisy.

It just so happens that one of my pet peeves is when others list their pet peeves and yet here I am. But let me clarify. It's not just the listing, but the aggressive explanation of each one and the expectation that all of us who are guilty should fall down in abashed apology.

The idea that there are some who feel the minor annoyances of life are worth the berating and humilation of others in fact leaves the mere domain of "peeves" and graduates to "Concepts that make me hostile."

So is that what has driven me to the discussion of pet peeves despite my usual avoidance of such lists?

No. Not exactly.

I am in fact being rather literal with the subject title. I wanted to address the care and feeding of pet peeves. Some 99.976% of my peeves are cactus in the desert. In other words, they care for themselves just fine. Until someone actually indulges in one of them, I don't ever really think about them. This apparently isn't as common as I'd hoped.

There seems to be a good portion of individuals who take great care in feeding their pet peeves to keep them healthy and thriving. Each incident is fortified with vitrolic vitamins and used to bulk up the peeves until they are size of Great Danes and as aggressive as mistreated Pit Bulls.

Why go through all that trouble? Well, to be ready to unleash them on unsuspecting individuals in a preferably anonymous venue like say...the internet.

With all the research into publishing and submission format, and life of writers in general, I've gathered a great many blogs over the last several weeks. So many that I could procrastinate for weeks without ever having to read the same thing twice as I go through the archives. Of course I didn't gather them for procrastination purposes and resent any indication to the contrary. Why? Who said something?

Anyway, I tend to read comments as much as entries and have been saddened at the numbers of people who will come out of nowhere on a perfectly "innocent" post and go completely off. It's the same people that come out of nowhere and lose it on public threads and resort to all manner of rude and hostile behavior. And so often it's under what is supposed to be the consequence-free heading of "this is really a pet peeve of mine". (Which, by the by, if starting sentences with "and" is one of your pet peeves, you are definitely reading the wrong blog)

Now this ain't my first time at the rodeo. I know that there are trolls-o-plenty on the internet for every genre, every niche and every interests. Some people only feel generous when they're spreading the misery and fertilizing the hate fields. These are not the sole masses of which I speak.

Very often it seems otherwise reasonable adults with mastery of the English language (I'm sure it happens in other languages too but I only read English) just fall apart when an unwitting individual trips their trigger on something considerably less important than say, the crisis in Darfur.

Spelling, grammar, slang, phrases, book and music preferences, all of it has been enough to launch people into tirades that themselves must have lasted less time than it took to type the response. I'm not saying I don't understand what it means to stumble across the cringe-worthy in print and conversation. I do.

I shudder at "Bling" and think it ridiculous how often I see rediculous. But I don't feel the need to lose my mind every time I come across these things. I don't make it my agenda to accost the poor purveyor of my peeve du jour and wring from them the necessary amends to appease my offended sensibilities.

Why not?

Because I obviously don't feed my pet peeves enough to make them sit up and notice for more than a few seconds at a time. What could be big, strapping watchdogs ready to disembowel any offender, are instead Ravens in a field of shiny rocks--they simply can't help but be distracted by something else before I can muster up the emotion.

(No, I don't mean Crows instead of Ravens. Ravens are members of the Crow family which includes Jays and Magpies all of which are attracted to shiny objects.

Did you know that Ravens have been known to lead Wolf packs to a kill so that the canines could use their sharp, powerful jaws to open the tough hides making the meat accessible to the Ravens when the pack moves on? What? Oh, yes, I did get distracted. What were we talking about?)

So here are the questions of the day (didn't know we were doing those did you?).

How well do you feed and care for your pet peeves? How much time do you give to their growth and upkeep? Is it as much as you dedicate to being your best self and making sure you contribute to your relationships rather than suck all the life from them?

Do you focus more on what bugs you and making sure everyone knows those things? Or do you focus on the gratitude for your blessings and share these attitudes with others? How much positive do you contribute over the negative you participate in?

I'm not saying you shouldn't rant and rail when necessary. Keeping that stuff in will kill you eventually. I'm saying pick your place and problem and make sure it's worth getting worked up about. Rant in the right place, to the right people for the right things.

And when you rant make sure its about how you feel and not about what someone else has done to you. "...I was so irritated" vs. "he made me so mad..." No one makes you feel anything. You agree to be upset until you agree not to be. That's just how it is. When we keep that in mind, we tend to let go a little faster.

What was that from the back? Oh, how can I, The Anti-Social, say to just let it go after a bit? I mean, isn't this a rant that you're reading right now?

Damn skippy! It's the Rant and the Wisdom. The "I can't stand people" and the "Don't sweat the small stuff" blog. But see, this is the right place, and the tearing down of others just because we can is the right thing to be ranting over. More so, I'm ranting about how I feel, and sharing the solution for the problem of spreading misery with those minor outbursts so many of us never think about.

I'm Antisocial because "people" can make the world a miserable place when they try. But I'm an Optimistic Realist because I believe that "individuals" can choose how they participate in the world and choose to spread more peace than bitterness.

It's all in how we language a thing, how we choose to preceive it, and what we choose to do about it.

What are you choosing to do about it? What do you bring to the table?

Ramble done,